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The Mystic Crystal by Ninja Sex Party - Guitar Chords
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Version 1
Ninja Sex Party: The Mystic Crystal Chords
--/hEzPiR3NPkQ
[Intro]
Em D/F# G E/G#
Am Am/G D/F#
B B4 G A E
B B4 G A E
B B4 G A E
Oh yeah!
B B4 G A E
B B4 G A E
B B4 G A E
B B4 G A E
B B4 G A E
[Verse 1]
B B4 G A E
Long ago and far away
B B4 G A E
In labyrinths of coral caves
B B4 G A E
A mystic crystal was forged in glass
B B4 G A E
From magic or some shit like that
G A E
Its powers had been used for good
G A E
And all men lived in brotherhood
G A E/G#
Until The Necromancer came
B
Upon his steed of bones and flame
C G D
His prism eyes with evil gleamed
C G D
He stole the crystal, then he screamed
C G D
"Now gods and men and all between
F C
Shall blow my necromancing shween!"
C G D
The knights and nobles of the land
C G D
Did all they could to stay his hand
C G D
Yet not a single blow was struck
F C E7 F#7
Alas! For he was strong as fuck
[Interlude]
B B4 G A E
B B4 G A E
B B4 G A E
Oh yeah!
B B4 G A E
[Part 2]
B B4 G A E
He grabbed The Princess from her throne
B B4 G A E
And trapped her in the crystal stone
B B4 G A E
The King called in his wizards three
B B4 G A E
And begged them brokenheartedly
G A E
"Search the forests, search the seas
G A E
Search time and all realities
G A E
Two champions are what I need
B
To bring my daughter back to me!"
C G D
"Yes, my king, it shall be done"
C G D
The wizards said, and so begun
C G D
A wondrous spell that soon would find
F C
The greatest men in space and time
C G D
And that's where our story begins
C G D
And Danny and Brian come in
C G D
There is no quest from which they'd flee
F C E7 D
But right now they're in New Jersey
[Spoken]
N.C.
Hey, Ninja Brian, is that a mystic space portal behind you?
N.C.
Oh shit!
[Interlude]
Em D/F# G C
Am Am/G D/F#
[Verse 3]
Em D/F# G C
We woke up in a foreign land
Am Am/G D/F#
Inside a castle, oh so grand
Em D/F# G E/G#
And there atop a throne of gold
Am Am/G D/F#
Arose The King, so gross and old
Bm C
"I've called you from the great beyond
Bm C D
To save my daughter, hot and blonde
Em D/F# G E/G#
You've sailed across the sky and stars
Am Am/G F#7 B
The gods have brought you here unharmed"
[Verse 4]
B B4
"Actually your majesty
G/B
You just sucked us through 26 dimensions of space and time
A/B
And I've gotta be completely honest with you
B
My arms are broken
B4
And I don't know why my chest is smoking"
G/B
"I will heal you with my staff
A/B
I'm sure we'll look back on this and laugh
B B4
Now go! Ride toward the sun atop these noble steeds
G/B
You're our spandex heroes now
A/B
Fulfill your destinies"
B B4
And so! We turned and rode beyond the castle walls
G/B A/B B B4 G/B A/B
With shining codpiece armor that doth cradled our chivalrous balls
B B4 G/B A/B
[Verse 5]
G D A
The sky grew dark and the road was narrow
C G D
But I knew we'd never be led astray
G D A
For Brian brought his magic arrows
C G D
They were blessed to light our righteous way
D D4 C4 C D D4 C4 C
Ah! Brian, do you think you could warn me before you're about to light our righteous way?
D D4 C4 C D D4 C4 C
Oh, god! Alright, fine, whatever, man Let's ride!
Em D Em D
Em D C G A7 B7
[Verse 6]
E D
The trees were twisted the air was thick
A C D
T'was clear his domain was as evil as dick
E D
We passed through the gloom of the Forest of Fear
A C D E
Then the Pits of Disgust, and the Dark Swamp of Tears
E D
Then off in the distance so clear
A C D
The cold gray peak of Mount Nasty appeared
E D
Past the Fields of Annoyance, and Dragon Barf Junction
A C D E D A
And the treacherous Cliffs of Erectile Dysfunction
C D E D
Now Brian has erectile dysfunction
D
Only Brian, though I know, it's weird
[Verse 7]
E D
We arrived at the evil one's hall
A C D
And dismounted our trusty steeds with resolve
E D
We hugged them goodbye and promised we'd never quit
A C D E
Then they ran straight away, for they gave not a shit
E D
Moonlight rose over the door
A C D
Lit all the jewels and the skulls on the floor
E D
We felt no terror as we entered the cave
A7 C A7
Unless the bells of doom tolled we knew we'd be safe
C D A7
We knew we'd be safe!
C D
We knew we'd be sa- Oh fuck...
[Verse 8]
D#m C#/E# F#
Colored gemstones lit up the wall
C#
They formed a rainbow trail
D#m
Up to a giant waterfall
D#m F#
And there the Necromancer grinned
C#
The Princess stood frozen
G#m
Yet still so hot beside him (Damn!)
D#m F#
Then I heard a voice in my mind
F#/A# C#
T'was The Princess!
C# D#m
She said "Danny, your heart is kind
D#m
Only light can stop dark!"
F#
I knew what she spoke of…
C#
To defeat The Necromancer
C# B D#m F# C#
I had to use love!
G#m
"Stand back, Brian, I'm going to hug him!"
[Verse 9]
D#m
He immediately shattered both my legs
D#m
And threw me across the room
F#
"I probably should have brought some weapons"
F#
I thought as I flew
C#
Then Ninja Brian picked me up
C#
Because he's a good friend
B
Then he used my body like a club
B
To beat our enemy to death
Em
I should have been in more pain
Em
Than could ever be spoken
G
Luckily, I felt nothing
G
Because my back was totes broken
D
Oh, the Necromancer was dead
D
And the crystal broke in three
C
I looked up into the light and saw
C B7
The Princess was now free
B7 Bm B
"Brian, she's so beautiful! Roll me to her!"
[Verse 10]
C G D
We journeyed gladly toward The King
C G D
His lands now green with the life of spring
C G D
He leapt up and wept at the sight
F C
Of his girl as she carried me through the night
C G D
"Heal this man, wizards!", he cried with delight
C G D
Which they did, goddamn, they keep their magic game tight
C G D
But sadly it was time to leave
C G D
So the king said "Fix Brian's E.D
F C E7 A
And hooray for Ninja Sex Party!"
N.C.
"Look, Ninja Brian, the Portal back home is opening!"
[Interlude]
C# D#m F#
C# D#m F#
[Verse 11]
C# Fm Bbm B Bbm
Now fare thee well, it seems that our journey is at an end
C# Fm Bbm B G#7
We will be here, if you should ever need our help again
C# Fm Bbm B F#
We walked away but stopped and turned before we took our last step
C# Fm Bbm B Bbm
Brian killed a guy real quick to make sure he maintained his rep
C# Fm
We all have our battles to fight
Bbm B G#
And a crystal cage to break through in our lives
C# Fm
But when hope is gone
Bbm B F# C#
We will be there to help you rock the fuck on
[Outro]
B F# C#
We also have 3 songs by Ninja Sex Party
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